Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
