Im at strip club and am horny
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Come see our sink grown plant.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
