I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
