Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
