He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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