So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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