He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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