You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If I die, sorry about rent.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
