dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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