i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Couch. On fire.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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