Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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