I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
