I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
