Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
handjob tips. give me some.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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