I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
