are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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