never play flip cup with pint glasses
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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