What did we do last night that was yellow?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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