his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
