i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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