Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Oh god it's open bar.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
