i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
