Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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