i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
