I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
