I want to make a zoo with you.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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