when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
