so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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