Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
