took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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