So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
