he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize