just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
