I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
