You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
