I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
