You're so nebulous sometimes
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
