I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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