I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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