He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
