well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
