i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
