I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
