So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
it's great music for shaving your balls
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
