Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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