Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
