I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
