is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize