She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
