i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
No subtext here. People are naked.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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