I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
