i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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