i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
