is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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