i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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