You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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