hell yes lets make some ravioli
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize