we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
