She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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