You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
