worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
